Are you my friend? This has been a question that I’ve neglected for a long time. When I first meet people I never set boundaries or establish rules within a friendship. I use to assume that everyone who says that they were my friend was indeed my friend. However, studies show that was a LIE!
I’ve always been the type of person who embraced people and brought them into my circle without questioning their character. Growing up my mom used to tell me that everyone wasn’t my friend. She would say “you’re going to get enough of being friendly to people,”well mom, I believe there is some truth to that statement. I understand now why my nanny used to tell me and my cousins that we didn’t need any friends because it was enough of us. Granted, I believe that to a certain instinct because I believe there is power in relationships. So make no mistakes I am for sisterhood friendships.
But I believe that we have lost the meaning of friendship. To be called a friend should be a special title. Just like you will take time out to get to know a man before dating him, I believe that same rule should apply when it comes to friendships. I question my “friendships” because I realize that everyone who says they’re my friend is not my friend. I’m taking back my friendship from people who have proven to me that they’re not my friend! You know the one-sided relationships….. the ones who always want you there for them but is NEVER there for you! The shady relationship that low key throws rocks and hides their hand. If you have to question their integrity when it comes to you then that’s not your friend.
Every girl code should have boundaries. Don’t be my friend to show me off because I tend to “look” like I’ve it together but when it comes down to doing real friendships things like being there when it counts or given sound advice, you’re ALWAYS missing. Being loyal is another MAJOR factor! There are rules to becoming my friend! That means you’re going to be loyal, honest, truthful, supportive and motivating.I am now given men and women 90 days to prove their significance in my life. Whether or not they deserve to be my friend or associate. My friends need to be held accountable and to hold me accountable! God-forbid I’d put best in front of the word friend. I mean what makes a person eligible to be a best friend? Do they surpass all of the friendship rules? Time means nothing when the rules aren’t met!
I’ve yet to mention the male species! You know the ex-lovers who you’ve decided to be friends with after they’ve mistreated you! No thank you, I don’t want your friendship either! Like sir, you couldn’t be a great lover, so it’s impossible for you to be a great friend. Casual encounters don’t make a great friendship. I encourage every reader to reflect on your friendship and if it’s not helping you grow, get rid of it!
😩😩😩😩 Goodbye toxic relationships!
Ps. If you considered yourself my friend and slightly confused by this post then step your friendship game up and don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m not a good friend!