Single, 30 and dating, you would think that this process would get easier but it actually gets harder. However, I believe that every successful relationship comes with a strategy and boundaries.
Eventually, you become tired of playing games with the same type of men or women if you’re a man reading this post. After dating a few men and listening to them. I have come to the realization that women simply fall to fast for a man. We never think about our approach to dating. We find someone that catches our interest and then once they have it, we put all of our eggs in one basket. An ex of my mine mom told him to not put all his eggs in one basket while dating me. I was highly offended but I thank his mammy for that advice because it taught me these next principles.
I have been the victim of playing the fantasy game. You know daydreaming of a relationship that simply doesn’t exist and preparing for a future that the other person isn’t aware of. You know it takes two to tangle so here are some principles that I am applying to dating this go round. Below are my rules for this dating game:
- Don’t be too available: I have things to do and this moment my time is limited so even if I have time I need for him to think that I am unavailable!
- Date Multiple Men: Yep, I am dating two to three men at a time. I have let them know that while dating them that I will be seeing other people and if they decide that I am who they want then they will prove it with their actions.
- Boundaries: I said I was dating three men not SLEEPING with them. Yall know I am celibate by now. So I have to make sure I date in a respectable manner. Meaning I am not coming over for Netflix and chill. If you want to see me then take me out. If I want to see you then I will take you out as well. Plus, my bishop says, why buy the cow when they get it for free! Everyone woman has a vaginal but every woman isn’t me. They don’t have my personality, heart, hustle or brains!
- Last but not least, I won’t be so tough! My dad tells me all the time that I am headstrong and sometimes the man might like me a lot but because of my strong will they don’t know how to tell me. He then said for me to stay that way. Welp ladies, let your yes be yes and your no be no!
I am a firm believer that men are natural pursuers and if a man wants you then darling he will do whatever it takes to get you.
This means we have to actually have something that interests them since you’re not busting it wide open for a real or maybe fake nigga. This gives you time to see who they are as a person and if you want to be involved with them. Wherein before if I would have bust it wide open then the sex would have clouded my judgment.
I am dating multiple men and I am proud of it! The moment you realize that you’re valuable and understand your worth is the moment you start acting like it.